We all must learn how to “figure it out”. The only consistent piece of advice I ever gave my sons was that in life, they had to learn how to figure it out. Problem situations are a given at work, in relationships, and life in general. Knowing how to deal with them is a must-have in the tool kit of life. One of the biggest misconceptions about problem situations is that we think we are in them alone. We think we must deal with our issues in the privacy of our own head. We pull the curtains, lock the doors, and isolate ourselves inside our own minds and struggle to find solutions. We spend many sleepless nights searching for a peace that eludes us. We beat ourselves up, and worse, we beat up our friends and family while fighting the battle within.
Sometimes in order to figure it out means we need to ask for help. As much as we like to think our issues are unique and think we must deal with them alone; this is not the case. Our problem situations are not unique at all and rarely are we in them alone! There are options for help, but often we choose not to engage. Shame, embarrassment, insecurity, and pride are just a few of the reasons we rationalize not seeking help. We have been conditioned to think asking for help makes us vulnerable and is a sign of weakness. We are willing to suffer through a mediocre career, loose a valuable relationship, or live a less than full life while struggling with issues that could be solved if we would only figure out, we need and should ask for help.
We must choose to engage! Adopt a "whatever it takes" attitude to address our problem situations. Don't rationalize with ourselves, ask for help from whoever we think can help us; a Friend, a Pastor, a co-worker, a family member, or a Professional Counselor.
We need to figure out and understand that some problems situations are bigger than we are, and we need to ask for help in order to move forward.
Problem situations are like pieces of a complex puzzle. They are unique, but they all have a place, and with help we can figure out where they properly fit. Once we figure it out, we can move on to the next piece and continue to complete the puzzle of life.