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  • Writer's pictureH. Rick Goff

Good Friends and Friendship

Updated: Jun 26, 2019

Unlike family, we get to choose our friends. We have a choice in the friends we allow to play a role in our daily lives. Many life choices are knowingly (and sometimes unknowingly) influenced by friends who have unfettered access into our lives. A good friend respects that access and helps you avoid bad life choices that not only hurt yourself but even worse, hurt others! A good friend doesn't give you advice, but instead, talks and walks with you to a solution to problems in your life. A good friend helps you see the person in the mirror, and even holds the mirror while you study and get to know the image inside. The friendship of a good friend is unconditional, but a good friend does hold you accountable for your words and actions!

A good friendship survives distance, time, and even disagreement. The friendship is bigger than the space between you, the time you go without seeing each other, and the issues that your opinions differ. A good friendship exists in a judgement free zone with wide latitude. But a good friend does not condone or tolerate destructive behavior that jeopardizes the friendship. They take you and the friendship seriously and will fight for and with you to keep it intact. A good friend is not just in your corner but is in the ring with you, helping you win the fight!

Have you ever watched little kids who are strangers to each other bond over nothing more than being little kids? They seek each other out and without any hesitation begin to play and talk in "little kid", and just like that, they become friends. The innocence of youth is the foundation of the friendship. But in a mature friendship, the innocence of youth is replaced by the complexities of life. The foundation of a mature friendship is a unique understanding of one another. A good friend always seems to text, call, or show up when you need them. They know exactly what to say and more importantly, they know when to listen! A good friend is someone you talk to without boundaries or barriers; a sounding board to help you make routine and difficult decisions. They will ask you the hard questions that you avoid asking yourself and will not judge your answers. A good friend will help you make positive changes in your life that will help you become a better you and make the bond of friendship even stronger.

Good friends and friendship are important aspects of a whole and complete life. I've been blessed to have wonderful friends in my life, some were just for a season, and some are "ride or die" lifetime friends. My life has been enriched by the bonds of friendship I share with good friends all over the country. While there is no magic formula to having good friends and forming lasting friendships, there are two simple principles; to have friends--be friendly and if you want a good friend--be a good friend!

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